ABC Nightline aired, our response

Last week, ABC Nightline released the segment about the fam that they filmed waaaay back in March. It’s been a while, but that’s fine with us.

Watch it here, and read their accompanying article.

Our family didn’t watch it live because we don’t have a TV and Jon went out of town for work. So, it was interesting to read and hear other people’s reactions before we even got to see it! Happily, the reactions from our friends and family were very positive, which means a lot.

Once we finally got to watch it online, we came to agree that it was done rather well! Of course we were nervous about putting our story in the hands of a corporation (owned by Disney) and all that. But we’re pleased that it was handled with care and respect.

We would like to follow up with a response to some things however.

Firstly, I noticed that the closed captions on the online video don’t seem to work. There is a “CC” at the bottom of the window, but I wasn’t able to figure it out. So, I’d like to apologize to my Deaf and Hard of Hearing friends that aren’t able to access the ABC story. I wrote ABC about this issue and hope they resolve it asap.

Beyond that, here are some thoughts:

Dani’s “Sugar on top” situation. The segment touches on a running “issue” in the family, which is that Dani often brings up the need for another woman partner to fulfill her more lady-lover desires. This is because Melinda, though a woman, is more naturally drawn toward men sexually (Dani says “basically straight” in the segment). Thus the initial drive to find the perfect man for our relationship. Though the love and life-partnership between Melinda and Dani are unshakably deep, it’s an area that we discuss often as to how to make sure everyone’s needs are met fairly.

It’s so very important for me (Dani) to share that this doesn’t mean we are unhappy or unhealthy. We are in constant communication about this, always growing and learning how to address each person’s needs in a positive way for our family. Also, I’d like to emphasize that my connection to Jon is more than just “Fun” as I stated in the segment. It is powerful, loving, healing, sexy, and evolutionary. Though Melinda’s need for a man may have been the catalyst to finding Jon, I could not be more grateful for him! “Making things happen” is one of Melinda’s super powers that make our relationship and life amazing.

What is Polygamy vs Polyamory? There is a part where Melinda goes into detail about the difference between polygamy and our family. I wanted to provide a bit more clarity and resources for that. Soooo, check out our Resource Page.

Harder to come out as Poly than it is to come out as Gay or Lesbian. Dani was asked about to compare her process of coming out as a lesbian vs poly, this was her answer. I (Dani) want to make sure to express that I honor the challenge of people coming out as gay or lesbian. It is an individual journey and each one is different. For some it is a smooth and wonderful experience for others it can cost them their lives. By this comment I meant that poly is another step beyond being lesbian for me and came with its own intense set of challenges that were harder than coming out originally as a lady-lover. Big love to the whole queer community and their bravery to be who they are. For those queer and poly folks that are still “closeted”, I respect your reasons and hope for your safe and happy liberation.

A bit about Ann Valliant (pictured and interviewed). Ann is a dear friend of ours that Melinda and I connected with in 2010. She is a classic “old hippy lesbian” with a southern style and gentry. Brilliant and still true to her roots within the Civil Rights Movements, she is known for her eloquence and ability to be upfront and honest. We love her dearly and were so happy she came to celebrate openly with us!